


The book of lies

by MachiMaquiaveli



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Crack, F/M, Minor Tony, Reader-Insert
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-30
Updated: 2018-03-30
Packaged: 2019-04-14 22:32:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 975
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14146023
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MachiMaquiaveli/pseuds/MachiMaquiaveli
Summary: You are trying to decide if apply for a job at the Stark tower when you meet Loki. Things don’t go as expected.





	The book of lies

**Author's Note:**

> Another one-shot because it seems that people liked the previous one. 
> 
> Feel free to leave a comment or kudos. 
> 
> Also you can find me on tumblr.
> 
> \-------------------------------------------

Loki is wandering around when he notices you circling around the stark Tower. You are very well dressed and have a paper on your hands. He comes near to you.

-What are doing? –He asks

You jump because the surprise.

-What?! Me? Nothing, nothing –you mutter

-What is that? –he wants to grab the paper you are holding

-Nothing! – You try to get away but he is faster.

-What is this? –He ask looking at the paper puzzle

-It’s my CV. I’m thinking if I should try to get a job here.

-Really? Why?

-Because is very well paid and I’m desperate and I want something to rub it the face of my sister but at the same time I don’t like Tony Stark because he doesn’t know what the word “ecofriendly” means and if I were to work for him I would be feeling like selling my soul and… I don’t know why I’m telling you this.

-I tend to have that effect on people, but don’t worry, I didn’t understood half of your words.

He smiles and you relax a little. 

-What did you understood? –you ask

-A person that feels undervalued because of her principles and is forced to believe by her family that she has something to prove.

-You are really good at twisting things. 

-It’s not twisted; I just make myself deaf to the words and got to the core of the message. –he answers totally calm

-Yeah, I think that’s the very same definition of twisted.

-You can believe whatever you want but I’m right, I am not?

You want to say something smart but you are so frustrated with him being right that you don’t know what to say.

-How about if I hire you as my assistant?

Your jaw dropped.

-Say again? –you are not sure if you did hear it well

-You need a job and I want to piss off several people. I though you would appreciate the value of mutual profit. Don’t you?

You cover your face with your hands trying to process the proposition.

-Ok, this is starting to sound like a poorly written fanfic and I’m not sure if I like it. 

-Again with your weird words.

-I think it would be better if you hired me as a teacher, you really don’t know that much about humans, do you?

-I know you kill each other for dumb reasons and are very stubborn creatures. – he shrug its shoulders 

-I can’t deny that but, if you know all of that how come you though you could conquer us?

-Said again?

-C’mon. I’m not stupid. I know who you are. Everybody around the world saw your picture.

Now you smile triumphant because you left him speechless.

-Seriously, if you ever want to conquer us brute force is a very short-term plan. You should have known that.

-If you are so smart, how would you conquer humans?

-With a small idea.

You keep smiling. This little game has really cheered you up. 

-I would like to hear the full report.

-Sure boss. You also want a Power point presentation?

-Of course, but this means you are accepting my offer.

-Sure, why not? None of my family has ever worked for a megalomaniac so I can’t imagine how anybody is going to beat that.

-I’m going to take that as a compliment

-It was a compliment, so, what is the first thing you want to know?

-How about this small idea of yours?

-Fine, but first we need to watch a few movies and read some books.

You spend the whole evening watching movies and reading at the same time, trying to get a conclusion from them. By the end of the night you are exhausted with so much thinking and planning but you really believe it’s worth your time.

-So –he says- are you ready for the second part of our plan?

-Ready whenever you are Boss –You answers

****

Several months later

Tony is watching the news bored when something catches his attention. He puts the volume to the maximum.

-So, what are you going to talk to us about today Jenna? –says the male reporter

-What do you think Adam? We are going to talk about the book “Conquering the world with a smile” that this weekend enter in the World Guinness Record as the most seller book in the world in one weekend. Never a self-help book as sold so fast around the globe as this one.

-This book is crap! –Shout the other reporter –Empty of any logic or sense written by belittle pseud-scientific guy self-proclaim “Doctor” like is this Loki Laufeyson.

Tony spit his drink.

-Listen to this –keep arguing the reporter –Listen to this “The key of life is not a key but a combination locker”; who did you stole this from Doctor Laufeyson? Who?

-Well, you are in luck because tomorrow you will be able to ask him in person in an exclusive here, in channel six –said Jenna- at eight seven central, he and his assistant Doctor (Y/N) will be answering the questions from our fans. Don’t miss it.

-LOKI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! –Yelled Iron man

Very far away you are in a restaurant with Loki checking the same news on your phone.

-Best seller self-help book in the world –you said –You should be proud of yourself.

-I don’t know; my fanfic about Cyclops and Emma Frost’s romantic vacation in Paris was the most up voted story on Freaking Awesome last month, again.

-That’s really impressive –you said

-You are impressive –He answers

You blush and decide to change the subject.

-A toast –you propose –for living a happy life and pissing off people in the process.

-A toast, for us and the second part of our book.

-Oh, no.

-Oh, yes. This is far from over my dear.


End file.
